Fall TV 2014OpinionRecapReviewTV

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Character Scorecard: “I Must Have Lost It on the Wind”

Sara Chaffee ’16 / Emertainment Monthly Staff Writer

Geena Davis, Jessica Capshaw and Sara Ramirez in the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.
Geena Davis, Jessica Capshaw and Sara Ramirez in the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.

The season eleven premiere of Grey’s Anatomy provides several moral lessons fans of the show have grown to be quite familiar with. These include, but are not limited to: one never knows who their biological siblings are, but they are probably your new co-worker; having sex only leads to bad things, and if you lose your virginity in a hospital parking lot, a gurney might fall on top of you; the only way to patch a rocky marriage is to put another baby over that bullet hole. And with those three plot points, Grey’s kicks off its newest season of endless drama.

Because of the vast amount of activity taking place at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital and the sheer number of characters to follow, Emertainment Monthly has devised a clever way to keep track of all things Grey’s Anatomy. Following every episode, characters will receive points based on their actions, good or bad. After the midseason finale, the points will be tallied and the reiging character will receive a crown and a shield that will (hopefully, but really not at all) protect them from Sweeps Week. So, without further ado, Emertainment Monthly is pleased to present you with the first annual Grey’s Anatomy Character Score Card:

Sara Ramirez, Jessica Capshaw and Kevin McKidd in the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.
Sara Ramirez, Jessica Capshaw and Kevin McKidd in the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.

Alex

+15      for being a great friend and taking over Cristina’s “my person” duties

-5         for being a bad boyfriend in the process

Owen

-10       for not securing the gurney that fell off of the hospital roof and almost killed two people

Jo

-5         for calling dibs on a patient as if they are not a human

Stephanie

-5         for sinking to Jo’s level and following suit

Amelia

+10      for offering Richard an ear to talk about his surprise daughter drama

-5         for discussing her brother’s sex life during surgery WITH HER BROTH-

ER

Ellen Pompeo and Christopher Redman in the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.
Ellen Pompeo and Christopher Redman in the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.

Meredith

-5         for being a terrible comforter and telling a patient he was lost for two months with zero emotion. You’ve been a doctor for ten seasons now, Meredith. Bedside manner is important!

Arizona

-10       for flirting with someone in front of your wife

+2        for that someone being Geena Davis

Richard

+5        for the effort it took to ask Owen to hang out, no matter how awkward it is to ask a grown man to come over and play Jenga

Callie 

+10      for always being the doctor to endure patient’s monologues

Jerrika Hinton, Kelly McCreary, Christopher Redman and Ellen Pompeo in the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.
Jerrika Hinton, Kelly McCreary, Christopher Redman and Ellen Pompeo in the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Photo Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC.

Maggie  

-5         Taking out your aggression on a vending machine is just sad.

April  

+10      for trying to set Owen up on friend dates to cheer him up

Bailey  

+5        for being mature in the war against Alex for the board seat. May the best (wo)man win.

Derek 

+15      for choosing his family over his career and resolving a conflict in record Grey’s speed

Overall Episode Grade: B-

Overall Character Drama Grade: Solid A

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